October 28, 2012 -- I think the practical side of me likes to kill the creative side. It’s a war, and duty/responsibility wins out over creativity almost all the time. Practicality, order, productiveness just kills any sort of art, creation or spontaneity. I don't know the context of this journal entry I made, but I feel it often- this war between a desire to express God-given creativity and a desire to stick to my self-mandated schedule that helps me maximize my time. A need for productivity and pragmatism in all things runs deep in my veins, but so does a need to express myself by creating something out of nothing. Several years ago my teammates and I read Heaven by Randy Alcorn. One of many lessons that has stuck with me from that book is the reality that we create because we are made in the image of God, and he is a creator. It's ok to create in this world; rather, it is encouraged! Innate in each of us is a desire to create, and that points back to God. Someday we will create without end and without disruption. I have been so busy trying to spend my time the most significant way, making an impact in this world: but expressing my creativity can have an impact, too. Even if it's just on myself. It's scary, though, this creating business. Will it be any good? Will people like it? What if I fail? But those are the wrong questions to ask. Much of the time I feel a desire to tap into my right-brained creative side, but I worry what people will think of me, or how I'll come across in a blog post, or the worst fear: what if I use up all my creativity and don't have any left? This was one of my greatest fears as I started more seriously writing- especially as I work on a book manuscript. But as I work out my thoughts and feelings on a page, I've found I have many more thoughts and feelings right behind to tap into. It's like a never ending supply as I expel it on paper. I learn things about myself, the world and God. I realize how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. Sometimes what I write ends up getting deleted. Or it gets saved in a Word doc never to be opened again. But then there are moments where things come together, like this blog post that I've been turning over and over in my head for months. The words spill out on the screen at just the right time. I like a black and white world, and ours is anything but. I used to think I was ONLY left-brained, and can still be tempted to describe myself that way. I was just telling someone the other day that I had a gig taking pictures for a 1 year old's birthday party, and they reacted in surprise-- "I didn't know you did that!" Because I don't tell anyone. Because I often don't think of myself as being a creative person. A few summers ago I took a day trip down to Pepin, Wisconsin with a friend to visit the Laura Ingalls Wilder Museum there. (Seriously). On our way back to Minneapolis we cruised up and down rolling hills in western Wisconsin. Little country churches littered the landscape, reminding me of my childhood. (I was already in full nostalgia mode after walking about the museum for hours!) As we drove past one of these churches, a beautiful, stately brick structure, I saw a glimpse of a gorgeous frame with trees lining a long, straight drive up to the front of the building. We kept on driving. We kept on talking. A few miles later, I expressed disappointment that we hadn’t stopped so I could snap a few pictures. My friend said, "then let’s turn around." I literally hadn’t even thought of that as an option. The pragmatic side of me said, why turn around and waste the time? But expressing your creativity, however you like to do so, is never a waste of time. My pragmatic side fights with my creative side often. I want to be strategic, use my time to the best of my ability, to gain the most productivity I can out of my few short years. But is exploring expressing my creative side not also productive, in a different way? Jen Hatmaker posted this on instagram at some point, and I come back to it once in awhile to re-train my thoughts on creativity: “You are not required to save the world, or anyone for that matter, with your art. It isn’t valuable only if it rescues or raises money or makes an enormous impact. It can be simply for the love of it. That is not frivolous or selfish in the slightest. If the only person it saves is you, that’s enough.” (From "Of Mess and Moxie") Creators, do it: write, sculpt, paint, speak, dance, craft, film, design, photograph, draw, bring order, beautify, garden, innovate, produce, cook, invent, fashion, sing, compose, imagine. It looks like art, it looks like music, it looks like community, it looks like splendor. That thing in you that wants to make something beautiful? It is holy.” We did turn around that day on the back-roads of Wisconsin, and the photo above is what I shot. Every time I look at it, I'm reminded that art is not a waste of time.
1 Comment
9/17/2019 08:02:29 am
Art is not something that we can just explain, in fact, art is not supposed to be understood. Art is very much open to interpretation, that is a huge part of what makes art amazing. Art is not about what you want to tell people, it is about what you want to express with your own emotions. I know that this is confusing, but I am really trying my best right now. I hope that we all understand this part of art.
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