October 28, 2012 -- I think the practical side of me likes to kill the creative side. It’s a war, and duty/responsibility wins out over creativity almost all the time. Practicality, order, productiveness just kills any sort of art, creation or spontaneity. I don't know the context of this journal entry I made, but I feel it often- this war between a desire to express God-given creativity and a desire to stick to my self-mandated schedule that helps me maximize my time. A need for productivity and pragmatism in all things runs deep in my veins, but so does a need to express myself by creating something out of nothing. Several years ago my teammates and I read Heaven by Randy Alcorn. One of many lessons that has stuck with me from that book is the reality that we create because we are made in the image of God, and he is a creator. It's ok to create in this world; rather, it is encouraged! Innate in each of us is a desire to create, and that points back to God. Someday we will create without end and without disruption. I have been so busy trying to spend my time the most significant way, making an impact in this world: but expressing my creativity can have an impact, too. Even if it's just on myself. It's scary, though, this creating business. Will it be any good? Will people like it? What if I fail? But those are the wrong questions to ask. Much of the time I feel a desire to tap into my right-brained creative side, but I worry what people will think of me, or how I'll come across in a blog post, or the worst fear: what if I use up all my creativity and don't have any left? This was one of my greatest fears as I started more seriously writing- especially as I work on a book manuscript. But as I work out my thoughts and feelings on a page, I've found I have many more thoughts and feelings right behind to tap into. It's like a never ending supply as I expel it on paper. I learn things about myself, the world and God. I realize how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. Sometimes what I write ends up getting deleted. Or it gets saved in a Word doc never to be opened again. But then there are moments where things come together, like this blog post that I've been turning over and over in my head for months. The words spill out on the screen at just the right time. I like a black and white world, and ours is anything but. I used to think I was ONLY left-brained, and can still be tempted to describe myself that way. I was just telling someone the other day that I had a gig taking pictures for a 1 year old's birthday party, and they reacted in surprise-- "I didn't know you did that!" Because I don't tell anyone. Because I often don't think of myself as being a creative person. A few summers ago I took a day trip down to Pepin, Wisconsin with a friend to visit the Laura Ingalls Wilder Museum there. (Seriously). On our way back to Minneapolis we cruised up and down rolling hills in western Wisconsin. Little country churches littered the landscape, reminding me of my childhood. (I was already in full nostalgia mode after walking about the museum for hours!) As we drove past one of these churches, a beautiful, stately brick structure, I saw a glimpse of a gorgeous frame with trees lining a long, straight drive up to the front of the building. We kept on driving. We kept on talking. A few miles later, I expressed disappointment that we hadn’t stopped so I could snap a few pictures. My friend said, "then let’s turn around." I literally hadn’t even thought of that as an option. The pragmatic side of me said, why turn around and waste the time? But expressing your creativity, however you like to do so, is never a waste of time. My pragmatic side fights with my creative side often. I want to be strategic, use my time to the best of my ability, to gain the most productivity I can out of my few short years. But is exploring expressing my creative side not also productive, in a different way? Jen Hatmaker posted this on instagram at some point, and I come back to it once in awhile to re-train my thoughts on creativity: “You are not required to save the world, or anyone for that matter, with your art. It isn’t valuable only if it rescues or raises money or makes an enormous impact. It can be simply for the love of it. That is not frivolous or selfish in the slightest. If the only person it saves is you, that’s enough.” (From "Of Mess and Moxie") Creators, do it: write, sculpt, paint, speak, dance, craft, film, design, photograph, draw, bring order, beautify, garden, innovate, produce, cook, invent, fashion, sing, compose, imagine. It looks like art, it looks like music, it looks like community, it looks like splendor. That thing in you that wants to make something beautiful? It is holy.” We did turn around that day on the back-roads of Wisconsin, and the photo above is what I shot. Every time I look at it, I'm reminded that art is not a waste of time.
1 Comment
After yesterday's post about some of my favorite books read in 2017, I got a couple comments about how I read so many. Looking back, it doesn't actually seem like that many, (especially with how many fiction books I read...they are like candy!), but as I thought about it, here are a several things that helped me:
- Try to read at least a little bit every day. I have a lot of hobbies, but I would definitely say I rediscovered my love of reading in 2017. Trying to read at least a few pages, or one chapter, every day helped fuel that. I have a bad habit of immediately turning on the TV when I get home...cutting my cable helped solve that. Remembering I am in the middle of a great book also dissuades me from jumping on Netflix as a default. - If you can handle reading multiple books at once, go for it! I’m usually reading 3 to 4 at one time. I get in a mood where I want to read a fiction book, or a biography, or nonfiction, or personal development/spiritual formation. Those are probably my four favorite types of books. This reminds me of a favorite scene from Gilmore Girls where Rory, a notorious bookworm, is packing her backpack for school and can't fit everything in. "I need all my other books!" she explains. A phrase I've uttered many times :) - Always bring a book with you everywhere you go. So easy to do if you have a kindle app on your smart phone or tablet. I usually have a paper copy of a book in my purse, just in case. I like to call it pulling a Rory Gilmore, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. - Make reading your default, instead of checking social media accounts or playing games on your phone. This is probably the hardest for me to do, but I’ve definitely seen benefits to trying this. Instead of turning to Instagram or Churchill Solitaire while waiting for my car at the mechanic, or waiting at the doctors office, I’ll read instead. Usually fiction, because if I get interrupted it’s easier to jump back in. - Get a library card! I LOVE my local library. I'm lucky enough to live in a metro area with a county library system that boasts 41 different locations. I can get any book I've ever tried to find, I just may have to wait a few days. I like to browse through the "staff favorites" list or check out authors in the fiction section who have written a lot of books. - Start your next book right away after finishing one (unless you stayed up WAAAY too late to finish a book...) :) - If you're attempting the 52 books per year goal, don’t freak out if you don’t hit one book every single week. Aim for 4-5 books per month. It seems easier. I have been known to finish a whole book in the course of a weekend (or in one sitting if I have a Saturday with no plans...!) I usually feel guilty after I set a ridiculous goal and don't accomplish it...but this time, I don't. Also, if you really don’t like a book, don’t finish it. It’s not worth suffering through it just to try to get to your goal. Now if it’s just tough to read, but you are enjoying it, I'd say try to stick it out. - Join Goodreads. It will give you book ideas to add to your "must read list," you can see what your friends are reading, and it keeps track of what books you read and what you want to read. I discovered today that it even tracks how many pages you read! Can you think of any tips to share? What works for you? I set a goal this year to read 52 books, an average of one per week. While I didn't quite get there (I completed 38 and have about a dozen unfinished!) I'm confident I would not have read that many without pursuing any sort of reading goal.
Here are a few of my favorites from 2017: Biography: Troublemaker, Leah Remini I've been watching Leah's documentary on Scientology on A&E (also highly recommend!) and have been so intrigued by the way the church of Scientology has been impacting its members over decades. Easy and quick read. Fiction: The Good Daughter, Karin Slaughter I read a TON of fiction this year, so it was hard to pick one favorite, but this book kept me guessing the. whole. time. I am a sucker for murder mysteries and psychological thrillers, especially regarding lawyers / courtroom drama. This book is not for the faint of heart; if you read the summary you'll get the gist. Nonfiction: American Fire, Monica Hesse This book is about serial arsonists in rural Virginia. Fascinating to read about local history and how the decline of the economy of the county lead to so many abandoned structures being lit up in flames. The author does a great job of detailing the facts of the crimes and the investigation in an interesting way that kept my attention. Racism / Discrimination: Between the World and Me, Ta-nahisi Coates Picked up this one at a conference bookstore without knowing much about it, but WOW. Wow. This book is a collection of letters that Coates writes to his teenager son and covers experiences of racism and discrimination he has faced, as well as tackling issues like slavery, police brutality and mass incarceration. Also, Coates is an incredible writer and before I even finished the book I found myself googling him to read some of his articles. Spiritual Formation: The Soul of Shame, Curt Thompson If you've enjoyed books on shame from Brene Brown and others, but also enjoy learning about the medical info behind it, you would love this book. This was the toughest read for me; I didn't understand some of the terms or concepts, but I stuck with it and I'm glad I did. It is an "intersection between interpersonal neurobiology and Christian spiritual formation" so if you happen to like those topics, you'll like this read. -> Bonus book on Spiritual Formation: The Gift of Being Yourself, David G Benner If fiction was my most-read genre, spiritual formation was my second. Excellent read about spiritual transformation and discovery of your true self. Most of the books I read are listed below...looking forward to the same 52 book challenge again in 2018! |
Amy WellnerEncouraging others to intentionally live out their God-given identity. Archives
September 2022
Categories
All
|