Last week I was out in Fort Collins, Colorado at Cru17, our US Staff conference. The event happens every other summer, and I realized on my flight out there that I've attended this conference five times (how is that possible?!) After that long, Fort Collins feels a little like a second home. I love the morning drive to campus for meetings, with a beautiful view of the mountains along the horizon. I know where the best Starbucks are (at least 5 of them...) and the best local coffee places, too. After a few days in town, I don't need a GPS to get anywhere. By the end of the week, I'm honking at the locals who are driving too slow (...my road rage follows me everywhere I go).
When I arrived on campus this year, I went through registration like normal: I was given my standard Cru swag, parking information, official name tag, and... a super bright plastic orange wristband that said "Cru" all over it, which I was instructed to wear 24/7 to gain access to all the sessions and seminars. This was a new thing, and it bothered me. I cut off the extra piece of wristband that was left hanging, once I put it on my wrist, and the jagged edge snagged on all my clothing. It felt a little unsanitary after a few days, with how sweaty I was (yes, I showered, but still, COLORADO). And, the orange was just... ugly. But the worst thing about wearing it? No anonymity. Now I couldn't pretend I wasn't with Cru. Everyone would see my orange wristband anywhere I went and they would know I was one of those people, bombarding in on beloved Fort Collins and acting like I owned the place. In previous years we only had to wear Cru name tags, and I could take it off after a session and at least attempt to blend in. Not so this year. I like anonymity, or at least being able to separate myself from the group. I liked to pretend I was a local around Fort Collins. As I wore my wristband throughout the week, I noticed I was more conscious of how other people might look at me now that they could tell I was part of the event. (The funny thing is, when there are 5,000 of you, you're noticeable- whether you're wearing the wristband or not). I don't always like being associated with Cru. We don't always have the best reputation, confirmed by how some of the locals talk about us. But they aren't wrong... throughout the week, I heard staff complaining about bad service in restaurants. I heard them complaining about the annoying road construction, jaywalking across busy streets. I heard them honking their horn at the local drivers, late for another meeting. Sadly, this was me in all these scenarios. Yes, I was that bad staffer. You probably saw that coming, didn't you? As I reflect on my distaste for the orange wristbands, I am conscious of the fact that you could tell I was part of Cru, and a Christian (if you knew what Cru was), from my one tiny little neon orange wristband. You could tell when I complained or honked or jaywalked. You could tell when I rolled my eyes and acted anything but "Christ-like." And it all boils down to this: anonymity is great, because if I am caught doing something I shouldn't be, no one knows I'm part of Cru. No one knows I'm a Christian. Eesh. If I was explaining this out loud to a beloved friend, this is when they would probably pat me on the shoulder and say, "You know, God sees everything. It doesn't matter if other people catch you doing something you shouldn't be. Because God knows what you're doing. All the time." Aren't friends so helpful? :) The wristband reminder that I represented Christ and Cru was a good thing, though; I noticed I started tipping baristas (I normally don't). I made a point to have conversations with people that I usually wouldn't- the cashier at Target, the gas station attendant, etc. I'm trying to think of a third example here because I know you should always list three examples when you're making a point, but I can't think of one... Anyway, this is my confession, as a jay-walking, road-raging, bad-barista-tipping person: this ugly orange wristband ended up being a mirror that showed me my character throughout the week. For that I guess I'm grateful...but you won't catch me wearing a wristband back home!
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Amy WellnerEncouraging others to intentionally live out their God-given identity. Archives
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